Children and a Child Support Attorney
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Resources and Advice
An expert, ad-free resource that you may want to refer is a non-profit resource that can be accessed at www.helpguide.org. There is a great deal of mental health information provided regarding numerous topics on this site. We are impressed with the recommendations made for children going through the divorce or legal separation of their parents. For children, divorce can be stressful, sad and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain or angry at the prospect of their parents splitting-up. As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children's needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. It won't be a seamless process, but these tips can help your children cope. As a parent, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to give your children the right support through your divorce or separation. It may be uncharted territory, but you can successfully navigate this unsettling time—and help your kids emerge from it feeling loved, confident, and strong. There are many ways you can help your kids adjust to separation or divorce. Your patience, reassurance, and listening ear can minimize tension as children learn to cope with new circumstances. By providing routines kids can rely on, you remind children they can count on you for stability, structure, and care. And if you can maintain a working relationship with your ex, you can help kids avoid the stress that comes with watching parents in conflict. Such a transitional time can’t be without some measure of hardship, but you can powerfully reduce your children’s pain by making their well-being your top priority. Below is a list of child’s wants written by that child. It is profoundly impactful and critically accurate:
What I need from my mom and dad: A child’s list of wants
- I need both of you to stay involved in my life. Please write letters, make phone calls, and ask me lots of questions. When you don’t stay involved, I feel like I’m not important and that you don’t really love me.
- Please stop fighting and work hard to get along with each other. Try to agree on matters related to me. When you fight about me, I think that I did something wrong and I feel guilty.
- I want to love you both and enjoy the time that I spend with each of you. Please support me and the time that I spend with each of you. If you act jealous or upset, I feel like I need to take sides and love one parent more than the other.
- Please communicate directly with my other parent so that I don’t have to send messages back and forth.
- When talking about my other parent, please say only nice things, or don’t say anything at all. When you say mean, unkind things about my other parent, I feel like you are expecting me to take your side.
- Please remember that I want both of you to be a part of my life. I count on my mom and dad to raise me, to teach me what is important, and to help me when I have problems.
These words come from a very bright, articulate child. Most children do not have the tools or capabilities to express themselves and candidly, most children cannot identify why they are feeling as they are feeling. Please remember the courts in Colorado will always care most about what is in the best interests of your children not what is in your best interest.